im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
