I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
