this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
