Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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