You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
