I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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