What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
