SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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