He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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