Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
