Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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