I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
