So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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