Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
