Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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