i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
