Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
