hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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