I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
