If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I want to be your penis for a week.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
