I CAN MOONWALK!
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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