I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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