i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
