I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize