How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i barfeds in our rink
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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