The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize