Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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