i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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