You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
