If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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