C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize