i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
