just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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