Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
