i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
