everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
