I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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