Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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