you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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