i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
