I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
