She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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