I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
