dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
