apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
