All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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