I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize