yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
