Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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