we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I believe in your delicious
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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