Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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