I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize