Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
