i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
