ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
