I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
