Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
