We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
