So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
