I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
