the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Randomize
