There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
