Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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