Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
