so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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