Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
